No End to Life

NO END TO LIFE

In an effort to magnify and clarify hay’dutsi’la for those individuals of the world society who have knowledge only of rote education, who think that indigenous people are created without the ability to think, that they are inferior and backwards and only an obstacle to the eyes of invading forces and therefore, because of the design of politics, must be erased from the path of progress by military force and all means of destruction for the good of all mankind, I write again about the wisdom given me during my life time.

Many times I wondered about the indigenous wisdom and knowledge that was erased from this earth by the crude and cruel tactics of fire and destruction festering in the thoughts of invading forces from Europe as they fell upon the original inhabitants of this continent.

This idea of hay’dutsi’la is a process and is also central to tribal Elder, Craven Gibson. He said he had a real name but never mentioned it, but he did live for a thousand snows, it seemed. Living alone some of his life he took the time to think (hayy), to process the thoughts (dutsi) and to obtain results (la). I was very lucky that he shared his thoughts with me. He called me the-man-who-writes-on-paper, so it is invalid for anyone to claim that I am giving away our secrets. The complainant’s lack of both secrets and general tribal knowledge is usually the condition that initiates this type of immature comment.

Before the ending of my high school days I worried about this thing, “life.” What is it? Where did it come from? Where does it go after the body holding life is destroyed by bombs, bullets, old age or fire?

As I looked around it was clear that natives around the world were omitted from the glories of Democracy and the “American Dream,” or the dreams of any other form of politics. We were left out of God’s account of the world, and since heaven and hell are not a part of our indigenous spirit, where does life go when death visits us? At that point I thought about everybody because judging by the Evangelist thing, heaven or hell, seemed to be a fairytale that evolved into an excuse that was liberally applied supporting the “right” to invade any native, any where, any time.

After Craven told how easily this earth can be turned into a moon by burning up, I worried about life with a new urgency, a vengeance.

I was fresh out of high school and in the Marines. I was stationed in the Far East, Okinawa. At some point during this period while I was worrying About life, I thought that if I knew when the beginning was then I could figure the ending and maybe then I could understand where the life force of the spirit goes upon death. For almost two years I searched for the wise people in that land (Japan, Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong, Cambodia and Laos. The Americans and Vietnamese made me jittery so I did not ask many questions there. Hostilities were fermenting and the natives knew an American invasion was imminent. Whenever I could, I asked when the beginning was. No one seemed to know. I was shipped “stateside” and finished my time and was discharged. Not long after that I was in Europe. It seemed that wisdom should be somewhere, in the forest, in the valley, on the mountaintop. No answer. I returned to my homeland and thought it may be worth while to ask Craven about the beginning. I went to visit him and asked about the beginning. He required me to return in two days when full moon was just rising. I did.

In my old pickup I rattled into Craven’s yard and he helloed me in for coffee. Moon was just climbing over the mountain range. After a cup of coffee we went out to his yard. Moon was just above the mountains now and we did not talk but studied the moon and its light splashing across the valley while listening to coyotes. Mosquitoes drove us back into the house. Craven piddled around and made small talk. I thought, “He forgot.” He kept doing little things, then stopped and rubbed the top of his ear and cocked his head a little like he was listening to something, then said:

“I THINK THERE WAS NO BEGINNING BECAUSE THERE IS NO ENDING AND IF THERE IS NO ENDING THERE CANNOT BE A BEGINNING.”

No end to life? That made me feel good, especially after the earth burning into another moon legend, but it also raised more questions that forty years later I am still formulating. Craven is no longer with us. He returned to the stars. Now where do I go for answers?

The Elders said that our wa’tu (spiritual umbilical cord) is connected in the universe where we began our journey long ago. I will return to that place. But does everyone have a wa’tu? Who do I ask?

Looking over my life I wondered why I didn’t go to Craven first. It would have saved years of worry and searching for an evasive thing that must be produced with hay’dutsi’la, and hay’dutsi’la was in my homeland waiting for me to ask a question.

A wise man may say that everyone uses hay’dutsi’la. Say to that wise man that moon is also an important ingredient in the hay’dutsi’la process, the moon and the rest of the universe, including coyotes and mosquitoes.

The old philosophers of my life said, “Think with your mind and when you don’t think with your mind, think with your heart. The mind is directly connected to the universe and it is all of the experiences of your ancestors collected through the generations and given to you long before your birth upon this earth.” I know now that there were great philosophers in my generations but my inability to know is there because I failed to learn many things before my birth, not the ancestors’ fault for not passing what they know to me. So yet, I wonder and worry about many things.